Roulette Table: Gambling for gasoline
A new high stakes game
Charles Walsh
Now let's get this straight.All you have to do to get free — that's free as in F-R-E-E — gasoline is to hop on I-95 north and drive the 78-point-something miles from Bridgeport to Ledyard and risk a lot of money. (Note: mileage may differ depending on where your bank is.)
Ledyard is the tiny town in eastern Connecticut with a big city called Foxwoods Resort Casino inside it. (If you have ever eaten an entire roast turkey, bones and all, at one sitting, you know how poor Ledyard feels.)
The attraction of Foxwoods is, of course, not the resort, but the many games of chance offered in its acres of casinos.
Foxwoods management announced the free gasoline offer earlier this week as an incentive for gamblers who may be starting to think the drive to the casinos at $3.24 or so per gallon of gas might not be worth the thrill of risking one's life savings to an outfit that cannot lose.
The way it works is this: Gamblers earn a "Wampum" point for every $90 they gamble at the casino. Each point can be exchanged for $1 worth of gas. at Exxon and Mobil stations. True, at current rates a dollar buys you slightly more than a teacup of gas. Still, it adds up.
A mere $300 in wagering gives you a bit more than gallon of gas. A motorcyclist might make it home on that much. A Humvee driver won't get out of the garage.
Once at Foxwoods you park the car, truck, minivan, SUV, motorcycle or what ever mode of personal transportation you have chosen in the spacious parking garage supplied for your convenience. Or, you may choose the convenient and status-conferring valet parking that tends to make people think you are a high roller, the ultimate compliment for casino-goers.
Once in the casino, proceed straight to the gaming area of your choice. We suggest choosing the highest-stakes game that the management and your bank account will allow. Good choices are a $100-minimum-bet blackjack or craps table or a no-limit roulette table. Immediately, even before being seated, start throwing bets down like there is no tomorrow — considering the current state of the world, that's entirely possible.
Conceivably, a really reckless gambler might lose enough money in a half-hour to earn a fill-'er-up, please.
The best bet for amassing gas credits would be to buy into a high-stakes poker game for, say, $100,000. Go all-in for another hundred thou and you've earned Wampum points worth 2,222-plus gallons of engine juice.
One small hitch.
The casino, killjoys that they are, put a $500 limit on how much a customer can put on the gas card.
So forget the big-time wagering.
Such is the lure of free gasoline, however, that on Tuesday and Wednesday long lines formed at window where the gas cards were dispensed. Gamblers were willing to wait three hours to get their bonuses.
Now that the casino has begun trading gambling points for more than merchandise sold in their own shops, there is no telling where it will stop.
? The Problem Package: For every $5,000 wagered, customers get two Wampum points good for one minute of time at selected financial or psychological counselors. Card may not be used to pay for psychoactive drugs.
? The Altruistic Package: Every $200 wagered entitles the gambler to a Wampum card that can be given to a homeless person who can, in turn, exchange it for one-third of a home-cooked meal.
? The Real Estate Package: Ten Wampum points are awarded each time a gambler takes out a second mortgage on a home or business in order to continue playing the dollar slots. The points can be exchanged for free valet parking.
Charles Walsh's column appears Tuesday and Friday. You can reach him by phone at 330-6217 or bye-mail at cwalsh@ctpost.com.
Charles Walsh
Now let's get this straight.All you have to do to get free — that's free as in F-R-E-E — gasoline is to hop on I-95 north and drive the 78-point-something miles from Bridgeport to Ledyard and risk a lot of money. (Note: mileage may differ depending on where your bank is.)
Ledyard is the tiny town in eastern Connecticut with a big city called Foxwoods Resort Casino inside it. (If you have ever eaten an entire roast turkey, bones and all, at one sitting, you know how poor Ledyard feels.)
The attraction of Foxwoods is, of course, not the resort, but the many games of chance offered in its acres of casinos.
Foxwoods management announced the free gasoline offer earlier this week as an incentive for gamblers who may be starting to think the drive to the casinos at $3.24 or so per gallon of gas might not be worth the thrill of risking one's life savings to an outfit that cannot lose.
The way it works is this: Gamblers earn a "Wampum" point for every $90 they gamble at the casino. Each point can be exchanged for $1 worth of gas. at Exxon and Mobil stations. True, at current rates a dollar buys you slightly more than a teacup of gas. Still, it adds up.
A mere $300 in wagering gives you a bit more than gallon of gas. A motorcyclist might make it home on that much. A Humvee driver won't get out of the garage.
Once at Foxwoods you park the car, truck, minivan, SUV, motorcycle or what ever mode of personal transportation you have chosen in the spacious parking garage supplied for your convenience. Or, you may choose the convenient and status-conferring valet parking that tends to make people think you are a high roller, the ultimate compliment for casino-goers.
Once in the casino, proceed straight to the gaming area of your choice. We suggest choosing the highest-stakes game that the management and your bank account will allow. Good choices are a $100-minimum-bet blackjack or craps table or a no-limit roulette table. Immediately, even before being seated, start throwing bets down like there is no tomorrow — considering the current state of the world, that's entirely possible.
Conceivably, a really reckless gambler might lose enough money in a half-hour to earn a fill-'er-up, please.
The best bet for amassing gas credits would be to buy into a high-stakes poker game for, say, $100,000. Go all-in for another hundred thou and you've earned Wampum points worth 2,222-plus gallons of engine juice.
One small hitch.
The casino, killjoys that they are, put a $500 limit on how much a customer can put on the gas card.
So forget the big-time wagering.
Such is the lure of free gasoline, however, that on Tuesday and Wednesday long lines formed at window where the gas cards were dispensed. Gamblers were willing to wait three hours to get their bonuses.
Now that the casino has begun trading gambling points for more than merchandise sold in their own shops, there is no telling where it will stop.
? The Problem Package: For every $5,000 wagered, customers get two Wampum points good for one minute of time at selected financial or psychological counselors. Card may not be used to pay for psychoactive drugs.
? The Altruistic Package: Every $200 wagered entitles the gambler to a Wampum card that can be given to a homeless person who can, in turn, exchange it for one-third of a home-cooked meal.
? The Real Estate Package: Ten Wampum points are awarded each time a gambler takes out a second mortgage on a home or business in order to continue playing the dollar slots. The points can be exchanged for free valet parking.
Charles Walsh's column appears Tuesday and Friday. You can reach him by phone at 330-6217 or bye-mail at cwalsh@ctpost.com.
